Want a good laugh?

One hour ago, a spoof press release targeted Canada in order to generate hurtful rumors and mislead the Conference of Parties on Canada’s positions on climate change, and to damage Canada’s standing with the international business community.

The release, from “press@enviro-canada.ca,” alleges Canada’s acceptance of unrealistic emissions-reduction targets, as well as a so-called “Climate Debt Mechanism,” a bilateral agreement between Canada and Africa to furnish that continent with enormous sums in “reparation” for climate damage and to “offset” adaptation.

Of course, everyone should have known that Canada wouldn’t do anything like accept massive emission reduction targets, or agree to reparations. No, this is what it *really* has in mind:

Today as always, Canada’s binding responsibility is to supply the world – including its burgeoning developing portion – with those means of transport, health, and sustenance that prosperous markets require. Stopping short of these dictates would violate the very principles upon which our nations were founded, and endanger our very development.

As you will note, there’s nothing here about that tiresome need to minimise climate change, it’s all about “prosperous markets”, yeah. Indeed:

Canada’s current energy policy represents an elegant synthesis of the most advanced science, while remaining faithful to Canada’s tradition of political pragmatism. Experts note, for example, that the much-decried oil sands of Alberta, contrary to environmentalists’ dire assertions, are enabling Canada to meet ambitious emissions goals by providing her, as well as her neighbors, with the energy resources needed to transition to a cleaner energy future.

Cunning, no? Canada notes how using energy from one of the dirtiest sources, the “much-decried oil sands of Alberta”, is in fact absolutely fine because it will allow a transition to a “cleaner energy future”. Which means that we can justify *any* kind of energy source, no matter how dirty, provided it makes things better at some ill-specified time in the future.

If we have one, of course. (Via Tristan Nitot.)

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